Things here, though, are very different. I feel as if time had come to a complete halt. I see things moving, seasons changing, kids growing, but nothing changes in me. I'm stuck in a place I don't want to be in (feeling-wise, I'm happy to be in California with David). I'm unable to make decisions, to get out of this state of numbness, stillness and frustration. It's never the right time to take action because I'm living in a unreal, still world where nothing involving me ever changes. Does it make sense?
This is too long of an intro just to explain that this is a summary of my week feeling-wise. I'll try to focus on the positive. And don't get me wrong, I always feel grateful and lucky to have been able to move to be with my better half :); I just feel frustrated to fail to accomplish the little goals that I could actually be meeting.
Flattered. I'm extremely flattered and happy to have received this surprise from Seel! :D I can't believe she took the time to draw me! It made me feel special. I love this picture and I'm going to make it my new profile pic :p. In case you don't understand the reference: Shower your love is my main e-mail address (After a Kula Shaker song). Gracias, Seel! :D
Accomplished. After 20 long years (20 years!!!), I plucked up the courage, put on my bathing suit and swam in one of the pools in our complex. I used to love swimming, but once I grew up, I became too aware of my physical flaws and just couldn't bear the feeling of being so exposed in front of people. I recently decided it was high time to get over that fear and just did it; and let me tell you something, it felt amazing! I had a blast and swam, swam, swam :). It might sound like a very silly and unimportant event, but to me, this is a milestone, haha.
Discouraged. I always feel discouraged when I know I have to go to a gathering where I'll be surrounded by people I don't really have anything in common with. It makes me lonely and miss my friends more. I never feel lonely when I'm alone, but I do tremendously when I need to socialize with people I don't get along with. Weird.
Relieved. I got the shoes and bag I'd ordered last week and everything fits perfectly :). I particularly love the colorful pair of shoes and the bag; the black wedges are a bit too high for me, so I'll have to train my feet not to fall when wearing them.
Happy and lucky. Every time I open my mailbox and I see a bunch of letters addressed to me I instantly get happy. I am so lucky to have met so many awesome people thanks to this little blog! :D Thank you for being there!
Hopeful. We're putting money aside for a short trip on Thanksgiving week. I won't say the destination not to jinx it, but it's a place both David and I have always wanted to visit :). Fingers crossed!
So,how have you all been feeling lately?
Hope we all have a wonderful week! Let's start it with the best vibe, shall we? ;)